• Sexy marketing executive Gabrielle Flannery is determined to excel at her firm in Atlanta. But there’s one person standing in her way: Dell Kingston, her hot, smooth-talking coworker who claims all the clients. When a highly coveted camping-equipment account is up for grabs, Gabrielle’s boss can’t decide whether to give it to Dell or Gabrielle, so he comes up with an unconventional solution. Dell and Gabrielle must camp out in a state park to compete in a series of survival contests — and whoever wins the most contests gets the account. By the second day, Gabrielle is kicking Dell’s butt, but she wonders if her overly flirtatious colleague is letting her win so he can put the moves on her. When she’s in her tent that night. Dell comes by for a surprise visit, and Gabrielle has to decide if she wants to keep things professional or put in some erotic overtime.

My Sleeping Bag — or Yours?
Exhausted from the day’s competitions, Gabrielle Hopped down on a couple of sleeping bags spread out on the bottom of her tent. Even though she was pleased that she’d won the navigational and tent-pitching tests, she had to admit she was surprised that an avid camper like Dell was doing so poorly.

If he was purposely letting her win, Gabrielle figured, he could only be throwing the competition for one reason — to make it easier to seduce her. From the very start of the challenge, he had been trying to butter her up, and while she was unbelievably attracted to him, she didn’t want to get involved with a coworker. Maybe Dell hoped that if she didn’t think he was a threat, she’d finally let her guard down.

Suddenly, Gabrielle heard a scratching noise and realized that someone was outside her tent.

“Gabby?” Dell whispered.

Gabrielle unzipped her tent flap and poked her head out. “Dell? What do you want?”

“I cut my chin, and I need a bandage. Can I come in?”

Gabrielle hesitated. If she let him in, she might do something she’d regret. But he was hurt. “Uh, okay. I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

Gabrielle’s heart beat faster when Dell slid inside the tent. In the darkness, she could only see his silhouette, but his nearness alone was unnerving.

“This tent is big enough for two,” he laughed as he glanced around.

Gabrielle didn’t respond. She turned on a flashlight and rested it near her sleeping bag, then took out the antibiotic ointment and adhesive bandages from the tent’s first-aid kit.

“Lift your chin,” she ordered.

Dell did as he was told, and Gabrielle smoothed ointment on the cut with her fingers, distracted by his bottomless brown eyes and ruggedly handsome features. Just touching him sent her mind spiraling in a carnal direction. He smelled of the minty body wash from the showers, and she imagined Dell standing under the showerhead with sudsy water rolling off his fit body. Unbidden, her midsection instinctively tightened with desire.

“It’s a little swollen,” she whispered,

“Are we still talking about my cut?” he asked.

She was afraid that the longer he stayed, the more tempted she’d be to do something she shouldn’t. “Well, that’s it,” she said. “Good night.”

“But you said you wanted to talk,” Dell protested.

I Gabrielle wondered how she could bring herself to tell him to back off. Before she could even begin, Dell reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear. Her mind went blank as longing coiled within her. He captured her mouth in an all-consuming kiss. A steamy fantasy unrolled before her: the two of them…in the woods…in a dark tent… alone. Except it was reality.

The Ultimate Seduction
Feeling dangerously close to losing control, Gabrielle suddenly pulled her mouth away from Dell’s. “I know what you’re up to,” she said breathlessly.

Dell turned her flashlight off. He kissed his way down her graceful neck. “What am I up to?”

“Come on, Dell,” she said. “You failed the navigation test.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And today in the contest, you couldn’t get your tent up.”

He laughed as he eased off her tee shirt. “Believe me, my tent is definitely up now.”

Gabrielle pulled away from him.

“Dell, you’re failing the challenges on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Why would I do that?”

“So you can get me to do this!”

He was still for a bit, his face barely visible in the night. “I’ll stop any time you tell me to,” he whispered. She didn’t know what he was up to, but as much its she wanted to resist, she couldn’t bring herself to stop him. He lowered his mouth to hers for a long, languid kiss.

A Hot Night in the Tent
Dell slowly explored Gabrielle’s mouth with his tongue. He undid her bra, drawing her nipples into his mouth, sending unbearable pleasure rushing through her body. He slid lower, licking a trail down her stomach as he unbuttoned and slid off her pants.

Once he got to her thin, cotton panties, he flicked his tongue over her most private parts. She melted into the ground beneath her and fisted her hands in his shirt to keep from crying out. He rolled her panties down her legs and buried his head between her thighs. Gabrielle bucked, unprepared for the erotic jolt that coursed through her system. She didn’t want it to end, but soon a fierce orgasm claimed her body in waves of delicious spasms.

After Gabrielle went over the edge, she forced herself to sit up. She needed to taste Dell’s body in the same way he’d tasted hers. She look of this shirt and jeans, then slid off his boxers. She licked and nibbled his nipples, working her way down to the prize that stood stiff and ready for her attention. She took him into her mouth, taking her cues from his moans. “Gabrielle,” he exclaimed. “I need you now.”

Dell reached for his jeans pocket, found a condom, and slipped it on. With a groan, he buried himself deep inside her. Gabrielle rocked her hips against his, all the while murmuring, “Harder, Dell. Harder.”

A surge of adrenaline like he’d never experienced pulsed through his body as he met her challenge. She dug her nails into his back and let him know every move, every slight shift that felt good…better…best.

“Oh yes, yes!” Gabrielle tensed, then collapsed in a full-body shudder. Dell gasped, falling into her, feeling as if he were being turned inside out.

Later, Gabrielle listened to Dell’s heartbeat as he slept. She wouldn’t mind sharing her tent with him again. But before she got distracted, she vowed to do one thing: land that client.

By Stephanie Bond

11. Lie naked against your man, your back to his chest, and encourage him to whisper all of his dirty desires to you.
12. Have him undress you slowly and take the time to kiss and caress each body part as it comes into view.
13. Get your guy to skip the in-and-out thrusts and ask him to “stir” with his penis. He’ll stimulate every steamy inch of you.
14. Put a little bit of lubricant on your hands and intertwine your fingers. Then grip your man’s penis with your palms, and move your hands up and down his shaft.
15. Let me know you’re not wearing panties by taking my hand and placing it under your skirt.
16. Just as I reach peak, pump my balls in your hand in time with the contractions of my orgasm.
17. Have your guy lie on top of you and enter you from behind, then close your legs so his legs are outside of yours. It’s the perfect position for G-spot stroking.
18. Pull off the road and find a secluded spot, then get busy in the car. It’s even hotter if you can hear the traffic, because you feel like you might be caught at any moment.
19. Turn on a fan while rubbing him down with ice cubes. The fan makes the ice feel extracold against his skin, and when you put your mouth on his body, he’ll get goose bumps from the sudden shivery sensation.
20. Command your man to remain still during doggie-style, and move your butt in slow circles.
21. Hold my hands gently while you’re doing me in woman-on-top. It’s another way for me to feel all the incredible sexual energy coursing through your body.
22. Have your man caress your clitoris with his ring finger, which is less likely to feel as rough or rigid as his index or middle finger.
23. Right before I enter you doggie-style, spread your legs as far as you can and reach behind so you pull your cheeks apart.
24. Do me in my office on company time. I know it’s cliché, but every day that I spend sitting at my desk, it crosses my mind at least 20 times.
25. While your guy is giving you oral sex, take his hand and show him how to stroke you at the same time.
26. There’s this yoga pose my girl does when we’re having woman-on-top sex: She sits on her folded legs and leans over so her breasts rest on her knees, her arms stretched out in front of her. Her grip is so tight, I see stars.
27. Get your guy to kiss your V zone the way he’d kiss your mouth, massaging his lips against it rather than using his tongue to stimulate you. The softer touch is a lot more arousing.
28. Ride him reverse-cowgirl style while he grips your ankles.
29. Every guy. no matter how old he is, secretly fantasizes about playing student to a mature, more experienced teacher. Suggest this role-playing game one night and you’ll make his high-school dream come true.
30. Take oral sex one step further by cupping my family jewels in your mouth one at a time.
31. Put on a little show for me with your thong by bending over and sliding it up and down between your cheeks.
32. You know that soft spot where my neck meets my hairline? Sit behind me, and run your tongue along it.
33. While we twist the sheets, pull the cups of your bra down just enough so that your nipples peek out.
34. Open your legs wide so your guy can go deep. Bring them together… then spread them again. Constantly shifting the position of your legs will switch up the sensations your guy experiences.
35. Do it stretched out on the couch. The smaller space makes you feel so contained, like you’re melded together.
36. Get a Brazilian bikini wax, then torture your guy by straddling his chest and telling him he can look… but not touch.
37. Don’t just show up in bed in a sexy new piece of lingerie — model it for me. It’s not the garment that gets me but the way it clings to your curves.
38. Let your guy know what feels good during sex by digging your nails into his skin when he hits all the right spots.
39. I’m not keen on asking for directions, so when I go down on you, just put your hands on my head and guide me like you’re steering a car.
40. When you’re on top and you can sense your guy is ready to blow, lean forward and treat him to a full-on mouth kiss. The sensation of your tongue pulsing in his mouth will mimic what’s going on down below.
41. Lean over me and let your nipples graze my lips. Then pull back a bit so I can watch them get hard.
42. Instead of pleasing each other simultaneously during 69, let’s take turns: One person goes to town while the other groans and moans about how good it feels.
43. You know how you put lotion on your body every a.m. before getting dressed? One morning, hand me the bottle and let me spread some across your calves, thighs…everywhere.
44. Come to bed in old-fashioned bikini panties — the kind with the satiny fabric that clings to your cheeks and makes your legs look long and sleek.
45. Hold my penis like a joystick: your fist wrapped around the base and your thumb pumping the ridge on the underside where the head and the shaft meet. That spot is like a blast-off trigger.
46. E-mail me the URL of an X-rated Web site that contains words or pictures that really make you tingle.
47. Instead of propping one leg on each of my shoulders during missionary, keep your legs together and put them both on one shoulder. I can hold them for leverage and get inside you so deep.
48. The faster you bounce up and down during woman-on-top, the more your breasts will jiggle…a sight that I live for.
49. I’m all about the urgency of sex. So instead of telling me how you like to be touched, say “This is how I need to be touched.” Then treat me to a demonstration.
50. Start off a long, lazy lovemaking session by leaving a trail of soft, wet kisses from the side of my neck up to my earlobe.
51. Wet his finger and trace it along the underside of your breast. The skin here is thinner and more responsive.
52. In the middle of reverse cowgirl, lean all the way over and put your mouth around my big toe. Sounds crazy, but it’ll make me explode.
53. You know how we sometimes stay in and have movie night? Surprise me by making it porno movie night.
54. Massage my manhood with your silkiest panties. Every so often, put your lips on the side and blow against the cool, sensual fabric.
55. Knead your fingertips into my backside as you give me oral.
56. When we’re both home just chilling out, go in the other room and call my cell. Get me all hot and bothered with dirty talk…then appear in the doorway and finish off our phone-sex session in real time.
57. Spread baby oil all over your breasts before we get busy.
58. Have your guy place his penis against your V zone. Slide up and down it several times so he experiences how wet you are without being inside you.
59. One night, tell him in explicit detail about the sexiest move he’s ever made and how fired up it got you.
60. After a shower, get him to take you from behind while you’re leaning over the bathroom sink and looking in the fogged-up mirror.
61. As you drive home from a night out, place your man’s hand between your legs and allow him to play with you all the way home. The more you converse and behave as if nothing is going on, the more exciting it is for him.
62. Let me climax on your body. I know you think it’s nasty, but you can’t imagine how much I get off on it.
63. One night, while we were out to dinner with her parents, my girl slid her camera phone between her legs, took a photo, and texted it to me. When I checked my cell before dessert, I almost blew a gasket.
64. Have sex on a swing. That weightless, flying feeling will get more than your adrenaline pumping.
65. Making intercourse the finish line can get repetitive. I like to turn oral sex into the main event: I tell my fiancé to lie back on the bed, then I lick him from his belly button all the way down to his balls and back, again and again.
66. Treat me to oral when I’m sitting up. I want to be able to watch you while you’re making me feel so good.
67. When I’m really about to climax and the skin on my shaft is craving a rough feel, wrap your hands around the base and twist in opposite directions.
68. Wake up 15 minutes before I do so when I open my eyes, there’s a good chance I’ll catch you slipping into your panties as you get dressed for work.
69. Turn off the AC or crank up the heat. Sweaty sex is just so primal and animalistic.
70. Give me a play-by-play on how close to orgasm you are so I know exactly when I’ll feel you clamp down and pulse against my manhood.
71. Lick along my cut lines — the creases that separate my thighs from my torso. (But don’t let your tongue go any further.) They’re a surprisingly hot erogenous zone on their own.
72. Hit the sheets with your hair pinned on top of your head, then undo the barrette and let it flow loose.
73. Do it somewhere really wild — an amusement park ride, a taxi, in the bathroom at a pal’s party. It may not be the most orgasmic sex ever, but the novelty of it will be thrilling.
74. Most dudes tend to turn sex into a sprint that’s all about the final big bang. But if you take things really slow, he’ll be able to feel every itty-bitty stroke and lick.
75. Let me watch you play with yourself…from behind.
76. Wear sheer thigh-high stockings, then stand over me naked and let me roll them off one leg at a time.
77. Once I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when I got this idea about pressing a vibrator to the small of his back. The two sensations together were so intense, they practically propelled him out of bed.
78. Wear a supershort denim miniskirt — the kind bad girls always wore when I was growing up. Then be a bad girl by taking my hand when I least expect it and letting me feel your wetness.
79. If you get me to lie down on the bed and rest my legs on your shoulders while you go down on me, I’ll feel way more open to sensation.
80. Let me run my manhood up and down your butt cleavage.
81. Have him flick his tongue against your clitoris through panties. The indirect stimulation is hotter than if he were touching you tongue to skin.
82. One rainy day, let’s call in sick and vow to set our very own sex record, doing the deed as often as we can.
83. When we’re out in public and it would be totally impossible to get away for a quickie, brush your fingers over the outside of my jeans. Do it a few times to realty get a rise out of me.
84. Before we get busy, do a little belly dance for me. I just can’t get enough of the way your hips shake.
85. Take a cake-icing tube and draw a circle around my package. Bull’s-eye.
86. Wear one of those corset-style bras with the zillion strings I’ve been seeing around this summer and ask me to untie it. As my frustration builds, so will my desire for you.
87. With my friends nearby, grab my butt, make out with me, and smile at me suggestively. I want them to really envy the fact that you’re with me.
88. When I come home from work, my jaw will drop if I find you sprawled out naked on my bed, centerfold-style. Bonus points if you pretend that you have no idea why I’m so turned on.
89. After a night of romantic lovemaking, follow up with a session of down-and-dirty sex. Think four-letter words, leather instead of satin, and props like handcuffs. He’ll feel like he’s gotten busy with a different chick both nights.
90. Look into my eyes during the deed. The emotional connection is amazing.
91. Tell me that you absolutely have to have me right this second. Don’t wait for me to respond, just pounce.
92. In the middle of intercourse, I’ll whisper to my guy that the neighbors are watching us. It’s not true and he knows it, but the idea that other people might be glimpsing us kicks our lust up a notch or two.
93. Rather than licking my manhood with the flat of your tongue, roll your tongue in a tube around just the tip of my penis and slide it in and out of your mouth.
94. Ask your man to sit on his hands, then treat him to a slo-mo, sensual lap dance. Don’t allow him to touch you, but touch him everywhere with your nipples, hair, fingers, and toes.
95. Wherever I have body hair, the skin is super-receptive to touch. So lavish plenty of attention around my nipples, treasure trail, and belly button.
96. After we’ve both climaxed, let me get a washcloth so we can take turns sponging each other off.
97. Make sure your mouth is tense before you give me oral sex. The firm feel of your usually soft lips will send me through the roof.
98. This is tricky, but the sensations are out of this world: During missionary, move your hips in deliberate counter-clockwise circles, then ask your guy to move in clockwise motions.
99. Cut the fabric out of an old tee shirt so your nipples show through. I’ll lend you an old one of mine if you don’t want to mess up one of yours.
100. While you keep grinding against me slowly during woman-on-top, spread your lips with your fingers.
101. Let’s stay in bed while we wind down from orgasm. I really love being so close to you, feeling your pulse slow down and listening to your heartbeat return to normal.

Postsex Thoughts
We polled hundreds of dudes on what pops into their heads postpassion. • 35%: “I hope she thought I was good.” • 28%: “I just want to sleep.” • 24%: “Did she really reach orgasm?” • 13%: “I’m hungry.”

http://soundingthetrumpet.blogspot.com/

So you turn to your cell phone for help: “if u hve sex, u can get an STD + not know it. Chlamydia, gonorrhea=no symptoms most of the time Dropin get chcked FREE,” reads the text message tip, followed by an address and hours of a health clinic.

This week, San Francisco becomes the first city in the country to direct safer sex advice to young people through text messages on their cell phones. Michelle Irving, a 22-year-old peer educator with the city’s Department of Public Health, said young people are constantly sending text messages, and she thinks they’ll respond to the privacy and immediacy of getting advice on their cell phones.

“A lot of teenagers don’t go to clinics, and they’re afraid to ask questions. Text messaging, it’s no one’s business but yours,” Irving said. “They don’t have to talk to someone if they think they’re pregnant or their condom broke. It’s confidential, so no one has to feel embarrassed or humiliated.”

Users send the message “sexinfo” to one of two phone numbers set up by the health department and within seconds get a reply asking them to clarify their question by choosing one of several options, including what to do about a broken condom and how to respond to pressures to have sex.

The whole back-and-forth process takes one or two minutes, and most messages ends with a phone number to call for further help. The program is designed to be teen-friendly, and the messages are written in text message lingo that’s familiar to young people.

“We wanted to design a program that would reach young people with the technology they use most often,” said Jacqueline McCright, community-based STD services manager at the Department of Public Health. “Most youth get their information from their friends. … They’re winging it, trying to figure it out for themselves. We thought this would be a good way to get them information that’s reliable, quick, nonjudgmental and private.”

The text-messaging program, which is directed at young people ages 12 to 24, is modeled after a similar program in London. It will cost about $2,500 a month to run the automated program in San Francisco. The San Francisco program comes in response to climbing STD rates among young people in the city — including a particularly alarming 100 percent increase in gonorrhea cases among black teenagers last year. The Public Health Department spent a year brainstorming ways to reach young people who weren’t getting the information they needed from more traditional resources, such as parents, schools or even community health clinics for teenagers.

San Francisco 15-year-old Mattie Loyce said she used to get her sex education from a radio program geared to young people. But as she’s gotten older, she’s learning most of what she knows about sex from “experience and friends.”

She’s on her cell phone all the time, she said, and “it’d be cool” to be able to send a text message for safer sex advice. Her friend Chiarra Tillers, 16, agreed, especially if the information available is accurate and reliable.

“There are a lot of myths, things that aren’t true, that you hear about,” Tillers said. “If what they tell you is true, that’s great.”

The Public Health Department isn’t alone in relying on new technology to reach a younger, at-risk audience about sex. Planned Parenthood Golden Gate recently began a new campaign under the slogan “safe is sexy,” including ads on MTV and MySpace.

Planned Parenthood also is looking into a text-messaging program of its own that would allow patients to make appointments, or receive reminders, by sending text messages on their cell phones.

Planned Parenthood’s ad campaign has come under attack by some conservative groups that promote abstinence education. In particular, conservative organizations have denounced the focus on teenagers, including a Planned Parenthood referral program that gives patients free movie tickets and enters them in a contest to win an iPod if they encourage a friend to make an appointment.

But Therese Wilson, senior vice president at Planned Parenthood Golden Gate, said it’s critical that young people have as much unfettered access to safer sex information as they can get. And luring them with new technology is a method that already seems to work.

“We’re trying to keep up with the technology because it’s very evident that younger audiences, that’s how they communicate,” Wilson said. “We strive to be very smart about our advertising dollars, and I think we do a good job of that.”

http://www.vaty.net/

Q I sometimes have an while sleeping. orgasm while I’m sleeping. How can I possibly be climaxing without physical stimulation?
Psychological advice: “Everybody needs a certain amount of sexual activity, and if you’re not getting it through interaction with other people or through masturbation, your bodies will `discharge’ naturally. Once our conscious mind, with all its baggage–distractions, guilt, whatever–is disengaged, our fantasies (i.e., our dreams) take over.”

–Dr. Drew

Medical advice: “You’re probably responding to sexual fantasies in your dreams, just as you might respond to fantasies alone in waking life. Our sexuality, after all, isn’t only about physical touch. In fact, the physiologic buildup of excitation that’s ultimately released in orgasm can be triggered even by merely thinking of sex.”

–Dr. Reichman
Q I haven’t become sexually aroused in more than four years, and intercourse feels like I’m being speared. The total lack of desire is frustrating because I think about sex a lot. What should I do?

Medical advice: “You should make sure the problem isn’t merely a matter of insufficient lubrication, which may be solved with more foreplay or by using an over-the-counter lubricant. Also, if you are taking an antidepressant–Prozac or Paxil, for example–it can make you feel dead from the waist down. If neither lubrication nor medication is to blame, see your gynecologist to make sure there’s not something wrong in the pelvis that:s causing the pain–whether its endometriosis (a fairly common condition in which the uterine lining grows outside of the uterus), adhesions (an overgrowth of scar tissue following surgery), or rarely, perhaps a tumor.”

–Dr. Reichman

Psychological advice: “People who experience ambivalence about their sexuality to the point where sex is overwhelmingly painful–those for whom the notion of sex is okay but the act is something unpleasant–often are survivors’ of some kind of childhood sexual abuse. If you suspect or know that you are indeed a survivor, you can expect to continue having difficulty with intimacy for your entire life–unless you recieve professional treatment in the form of long-term psychotherapy. Of course, lesser childhood trauma (brought on by parents who have withheld love, for example) could cause a spectrum of difficulties with intimacy but probably not the total shutdown you describe, indicative of someone who was abused. The same can be said for a relationship gone sour: It can cause a women to have difficulty functioning sexually, but again, the dysfunction would probably not be so severe.”

–Dr. Drew
Q My fiance’s penis curves upward. How can we “straighten out” the problem so that we can experiment different positions without hurting him?

Psychological advice: “Penises turn and twist in all directions. In your fiance’s case, you both have to accept that his penis happens to curve upward and that certain positions will be more comfortable than others. But the penis is flexible, as are your bodies. So all positions are possible if you adjust a little or raise here and there.”

–Dr. Judy

Medical advice: “There is, however, a rare condition called Peyronie’s disease, in which a curved penis–accompanied by pain on erection–is a symptom, but it afflicts only 1 percent of males and can be corrected surgically. So if your fiance is experiencing pain as well as curving, he should see a urologist. Otherwise, don’t worry.”

–Dr. Drew
Q I can achieve orgasm only by way of a man’s hands or mouth. Anything can do about this?

Medical & psychological advice: “If it’s any comfort, most women (the estimate is put at more than 50 percent) share your experience. One reason is that the finger and the tongue can stimulate the clitoris or G spot or other sensitive place more effectively than the penis can during penetration. But there are a number of bridge techniques that may increase your chances of climaxing during intercourse. While he’s inside you, either one of you could use a finger for clitoral stimulation. Or you could get close to climaxing through foreplay and then, when he enters you, you could continue to stimulate your clitoris with your fingers while he does so peripherally by thrusting. That should do the trick. But remember: While it’s often psychologically more satisfying to have an orgasm during penetration, sex is not only form of intercourse. Sometimes oral sex can be even more intimate.”

–Dr. Judy
Q Is it true that my gynecologist will be able to tell that I masturbate?

Medical advice: “Not unless you’re doing something really extreme that physically injures you.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “No. Besides, who cares? Every gynecologist I know feels that masturbation is merely a part of normal sexuality.”

–Dr. Reichman
Q I was shocked to find out that my boyfriend had contracted crabs. His doctor said he probably got them from me, but I’ve never had them. Should I trust him when he says he hasn’t slept with anyone else?

Medical advice: “Crabs are lice that inhabit the pubic region, and though they are often transmitted by body contact, they can also be picked up from things like bedsheets or towels. So your boyfriend doesn’t necessarily have. have slept with someone else to have gotten the lice.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “And now that you know this is one of those sexually transmitted conditions that you are able to catch in other ways, trust shouldn’t be an issue. I strongly suggest you stop obsessing about it.”

–Dr. Judy
Q I’ve never had an orgasm–not even when I masturbate. Could the problem be physical?

Medical advice: “When women are not orgasmic, it’s usually a psychological phenomenon. One exception is if the woman is using drugs–recreational or prescription, even alcohol–which can diminish the ability to have a sexual response. But ruling out drugs, and in the absence of a debilitating disease, chronic illness, or fatigue –any of which cut the ability to function on every level–I can think of no anatomical, physical, or organic condition that would prevent you from being orgasmic.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “First, realize it isn’t unusual that you haven’t had an orgasm, because an estimated one-third of all women haven’t! Second, recognize that sometimes women have to learn to have an orgasm, so continue to practice by yourself on yourself, and don’t hesitate to use a vibrator. If you’re inhibited for any reason, there’s a greater chance you’ll be able to climax with a lover after you’ve become comfortable coming on your own. Mentally, many women stop themselves from going over the edge, over the top, when they’re with a man. They reach a certain point where they get to the intensity of the feeling, and then they’re frightened–fearful of getting too attached to the man or of losing control. Should you get to the point where you feel that fear, press on. Ask yourself, `If I have an orgasm, what:s really the worst thing that’s going to happen here? Will I lose the guy? Will he think I’m a loose woman?’ Gradually, you’ll rationally eliminate your fears, and when you reach the critical point of teetering on the edge, you’ll realize you have only something to gain here–nothing to lose. Meanwhile, allow yourself to feel the smaller sensations and to value them so that they build.”

–Dr. Judy
Q I’ve recently married, and I’m not interested in sex. I just started a new job, and I’m always tired and stressed. What should I do?

Medical & psychological advice: “This is a complaint I hear from most career women. When you’re under stress, all systems go down. You don’t function the way you normally would. Stress can also affect your hormones, which can impede the arousal process. But the fact is, you must take time out to enjoy sex with your husband. Maybe you shouldn’t try to do it during the week but decide that weekends are the time for lovemaking. It’s a matter of figuring out priorities and schedules. What you need is a prescribed vacation.”

–Dr. Reichman
Q My problem is the opposite of vaginal dryness during intercourse. Is there any way to reduce extreme vaginal lubrication?

Medical advice: “The first thing to do is make sure you don’t have an infection that might be producing an abnormal vaginal discharge. If that’s not the case and the secretions are solely due to sexual stimulation, there’s nothing you can do about it. And rather than considering it an abnormality, my advice is simply to enjoy it.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “You should welcome the lubrication and never ever do anything that would reduce your excitement level. Think of it with pride–the way a man does when his penis gets harder and bigger.”

–Dr. Judy
Q Every time I make love, I jump in the shower right afterward to wash off all that drippy semen. Isn’t it unhealthy to have it sticking to my body? Or am I just being weird?

Medical & psychological advice: “All that drippy semen is not going to harm your health. I wouldn’t say you’re weird, but I am concerned that your behavior might imply you find lovemaking dirty and therefore jump into the shower to purge yourself, or that you might have some intimacy issues. I would recommend that you try spending 10 or 15 minutes after sex just cuddling with your partner and examining your feelings to see what comes up. If you can’t tolerate the closeness–if you feel you just have to jump up and run to the shower–then something else is going on and you should consult with a therapist.”

–Dr. Drew
Q Ever since my boyfriend bought me a vibrator, I find I can’t climax without it, and I’ve completely lost interest in him. Is this normal?

Medical advice: “A vibrator is very good for clitoral stimulation In fact, many women have told me that it’s better than the real thing, because you can set the speed and place it exactly where you want, and you don’t have to tell it what to do–which many women have trouble doing. The truth is, no man can effectively mimic an electrical vibrating appliance, but why not double your pleasure by using it with him.”

–Dr. Reichman

Psychological advice: “Maybe the loss of interest in your boyfriend is symptomatic of a distancing in your relationship; you’re looking for an explanation and the vibrator seems like the most obvious one. So I suggest you examine the relationship. Maybe the guy was always only a source of mechanical pleasure. If that’s true, consider the wisdom of continuing this relationship. Maybe you should end it now.”

–Dr. Drew
Q I’m constantly badgered by my boyfriend to shave my pubic hair. He says that a bald pubic area sexually arouses him. Could this be a fetish? And isn’t it unhygienic to shave “down there”?

Psychological advice: “Unless he requires that you shave in order for him to become sexually aroused or sexually functional at all, I don’t think that what you describe would qualify as a fetish. It seems to me to be more an issue of personal taste and style.”

–Dr. Drew

Medical advice: “Pubic hair protects the somewhat fragile lips of the vagina, and even the clitoris, from friction caused by our clothing. So you’re losing that protection if you shave, but I don’t feel it’s a major health concern so much as a matter of personal comfort. I have several patients who shave, and aside from the occasional infected hair follicle or ingrown hair or rash from razor burn, it doesn’t seem to hurt them at all.”

–Dr. Reichman
Q My fiance and I have been engaged for three years. For most of that time, we had great sex, but now, during intercourse, my vagina feels like it’s ripping apart. What could be wrong?

Medical advice: “If you’re on the Pill, you may have developed a thinning of the vaginal mucosa. So first, I’d suggest you either try a pill higher in estrogen–low levels of which can exacerbate the problem–or switch to another means of birth control. Meanwhile, I’d give you an estrogen cream to use I locally and a male hormone cream called testosterone propionate to apply to the labia to thicken the skin anti protect it from tearing. I’d suggest avoiding Jacuzzis and hot tubs, because they drain the vaginal tissue of’ its moisture, which can lead to further irritation. Also, stay away from deodorant soaps, and shower rather than tub-bathe for a while. Finally, abstain from intercourse until the hormonal creams have had a chance to take effect–usually at least two weeks.”

–Dr. Reichman

Medical advice 2: “Also, get your gynecologist to do a culture to see if you have a strep infection of the vagina, which comes from the same bacteria that causes strep throat and can be passed to you by your partner through oral sex. It’s common enough and very easy to cure with penicillin.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “If there’s no medical reason for your symptoms, then you have to think there might be some emotional reason for the problem that could show up as painful intercourse–which is commonly caused by vaginismus, a spasm of the pelvic-floor musculature. Anger, depression, ambivalence, previous trauma–all these things can predispose you to it. If you’re frustrated by the inertia of your relationship–three years of engagement warrants looking into–it may he brought out as vaginismus It may be time to he honest with your fiance about how you’re feeling, or you may need couples therapy. Or, it may he time to move on.”

–Dr. Drew
Q I had an abortion six months ago. Since then, my live-in boyfriend initiates sex only when he thinks I’m asleep. Is there a connection?

Psychological advice: “Yes. Men–women too–who initiate sex only when their partner is sleeping do it as a way not to confront the relationship. I’m sure this is related to the trauma of your pregnancy and subsequent abortion. Your boyfriend is withdrawing, and I think you need to get him to talk about what he’s feeling. You must truly mourn together; otherwise, you’ll never get back to having a natural, open sexual relationship ”

–Dr. Judy

Psychological advice 2: “I agree that you and your boyfriend have to discuss the impact the abortion has had on both of you. He may literally be gun-shy–frightened of impregnating you again or traumatized and not able to overcome his anxiety. And you may have changed more than you realize. I’ve yet to meet a woman who didn’t experience remorse, didn’t feel the biological sense of loss and the depression that accompanies the hormonal changes of having gone from pregnant to not pregnant, let alone the psychological trauma brought on by what she’s actually done. You may be reacting to all this by pushing your boyfriend away without even realizing it. You need to talk to him about these issues, and of course, he has to share his angst with you.”

–Dr. Drew
Q I have been diagnosed with venereal warts. Are they serious? Can I pass them along to my boyfriend? If we have oral sex, can I transmit the warts to his mouth?

Medical advice: “Venereal warts are caused by any of 23 strains of the human papilloma virus (HPV) that can inhabit the genital/urinary tract. The more virulent strains (they number eight or so) are associated with cervical and vaginal cancer. Although there is no test for detecting the virus, these high-risk strains can be identified in women by a virapap test or HPV-DNA testing, either of which will he ordered by your gynecologist if a Pap smear indicates anything abnormal. Like so many viruses, HPV is silent, meaning it can stay in your body for years and years without ever manifesting itself In approximately 1 percent of the people who harbor the virus, however, it starts to multiply for Unknown reasons and forms little growths varying in size from pinpoint to the dimensions of a pinkie fingernail and in color from flesh-toned to reel to black In women, these often occur in the cells of the cervix and cause the precancerous changes that turn up in an abnormal Pap (which is reason in itself to have a Pap smear at least once a year)–in which case the affected cervical tissue is lasered or cut away. Or the genital warts can appear on the labia or rim of the vagina, and in men on the penis (often invisibly SO, especially if hidden by the foreskin). They can he removed with chemicals or laser or by freezing or cutting them out But though the warts are then gone, you will still have the virus;l it’s in the body as part of’ your vaginal flora (the bacteria and viruses that normally inhabit the vagina) There’s no medication you can take to get rid of HPV, and you can pass it along to your sexual partner–and he to you–even in its silent state (although a hit more easily if the warts are present) unless he wears a condom. In fact, a recent report from the Department of Public Health identified HPV as the fastest growing sexually transmitted disease in the United States–to the tune of 1 million new cases diagnosed every year What’s more, it’s estimated that 50 percent to 70 percent of sexually active people will eventually be infected with one form or another of HPV–one shot of unprotected sex is all it takes It doesn’t happen often, but the virus can also be transmitted by oral sex from the genitals of a man or a woman to a partner’s mouth, where the warts, if they do develop, usually appear back toward the throat. And the virus–even after the warts are removed–could conceivably he retransmitted to a partner’s genitals’ again by oral sex.”

–Dr. Reichman

Psychological advice: “Even so, you can still enjoy oral sex safely by using a dental dam, which is basically a sheet of’ latex that you lay across your genitals to form a barrier against the virus.”

–Dr. Drew
Q My boyfriend is just in his 20s, but once the first lovemaking session is over, it takes him a couple of hours to recoup for round two. What’s wrong with him?

Medical advice: “Men have a much longer refractory period–the time before they can climax again–the do women, hut there’s tremendous variation from individual to individual. There are men who can get an erection 30 minutes later and ejaculate again, and men who can ejaculate four times a day, and men who can ejaculate only once a day. So you really can’t say anything is wrong if it takes your boyfriend two hours–no matter what his age.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “Why not just relax and let him set his own pace? Trying to make him feel pressured about getting hard and coming again is exactly what will sabotage him.”

–Dr. Judy
Q I recently lost my virginity. Occasionally, I hurt to the point where my boyfriend can’t enter me–especially during a particularly long “session.” Other times, it just hurts but penetration is possible. And sometimes I bleed as well. What’s wrong with me?

Medical advice: “There is nothing wrong with you. Some women simply have more of a hymen than others–the hymen being the soft tissue encircling the opening of the vagina that is usually broken when you first have intercourse–so there may be more sporadic bleeding and pain than usual. Also, some women have a low-grade vaginitis–similar to a yeast infection–and when the vagina is irritated by intercourse, the condition flares up, so that what’s being perceived as painful intercourse is really a flare-up of vaginitis and should be checked out by a gynecologist. Then, too, some women go dry and the vagina becomes traumatized. But using an artificial lubricant like K-Y Jelly, or a new one called Astroglide, will usually alleviate that problem.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “You may have what is called selective dyspareunia –pain during intercourse at certain times and not others–and it could come from selective vaginismus brought on by your vagina’s tightening up when you’re not relaxed. One way to counter this problem is to use the mantra of “I am relaxed, I am relaxed,” repeating it over and over to yourself while breathing deeply until you open up. You might also examine whether there are certain times when you’re just not in the mood and your vagina is telling you so. Or perhaps it’s tightening in response to your fears of getting pregnant or of not having an orgasm. There could be endless hidden reasons for your pain, so if relaxation techniques fail to work, I suggest you see a therapist for a short time to sort the problem out.”

–Dr. Judy
Q It seems every time I have sex, I get a yeast infection. Could this be psychosomatic and in some crazy way associated with guilt?

Medical advice: “Yeast doesn’t grow because you’re guilty. When you become sexually aroused, vaginal secretions increase, which can change the pH–the acidity–of your vagina, making it more alkaline. This creates an environment conducive to the growth of yeast, which causes infection by destroying the `good bacteria’–the lactobacilli–normally present in the vagina. Some of my patients ask if douching with yogurt or taking acidophilus helps retard the multiplication of yeast. Contrary to popular belief, the answer is no–first, because the lactobacilli in yogurt are totally different from the lactobacilli in the vagina, and second, because acidophilus is easily absorbed by the vagina and therefore doesn’t hang around long enough to have a local effect. All you can do is treat the problem–usually with over-the-counter antiyeast creams or suppositories–whenever an infection occurs. Even more effective is the relatively new pill called Diflucan, which is available in pharmacies by prescription and taken by mouth.”

–Dr. Reichman

Medical advice 2: “It could also be that you’ve never really gotten rid of the yeast infection between flare-ups. Maybe you applied medication only until the symptoms went away but not the underlying infection–and then, once some irritant was introduced, it flared up again. That’s a good reason for taking Diflucan–one pill, and the infection’s gone in only three or four days.”

–Dr. Cherry

Medical advice 3: “You should also be examined by a physician to make sure you don’t have some illness that predisposes you to yeast infections–like diabetes or HIV.”

–Dr. Drew
Q My boyfriend and I are both virgins and not yet ready for intercourse, but we’ve recently started having anal sex. Are there any particular health risks we should be aware of?

Medical advice: “You can get HIV from anal intercourse, obviously. In fact, it’s a more common way to transmit the disease than through vaginal intercourse, which is why the incidence is so high in the homosexual male population, where anal intercourse is the norm. Intercourse is more traumatic to the anus than to the vagina because the anus is a smaller opening that doesn’t self-lubricate and is easily torn. And it’s these tears that allow the AIDS virus secreted by the penis direct access into the bloodstream. Being the receptive partner in anal intercourse makes you vulnerable to all other sexually transmitted diseases as well, so it’s essential that your boyfriend use a condom which will also help protect him against the risk of getting a urinary-tract infection from the bacteria present in your rectum.”

–Dr. Cherry

Psychological advice: “Why, I wonder, would you indulge in anal sex but not vaginal sex? Both qualify equally as sex. So it seems that you’re holding to a very technical definition of virginity: not breaking the hymen. But in my opinion, whether anal or vaginal or oral, sex is sex, period!”

–Dr. Judy

By Robyn Brown, Allison Fabian, Caryn Kanare, and Erica Werner, Cosmopolitan

SEATTLE (AP) — Sex offenders who want to go to college in Washington have been required to share their criminal past with campus officials since 1998, but recent high profile news stories and increasing enrollments have some colleges reassessing their notification policy.

Instructors at Spokane Community College expressed concern last spring about the growing number of sex offenders registered for classes on that campus. The three campuses of Community Colleges of Spokane have 20 registered sex offenders enrolled out of a total student population of 16,000, said Anne Tucker, spokeswoman for the Spokane college district.

The instructors felt the campus procedure for notifying faculty and students when a sex offender enrolled needed to be reviewed and updated, so a task force started working during winter quarter on some new rules that are now before the district chancellor for fmal approval.

College officials in other parts of the state mentioned the new Spokane policy as one of the most aggressive in Washington, because it requires the college to collect police reports and treatment history on the most serious sex offenders and allows conditional admission for some students. Tucker described the policy as providing more clarity for both faculty and sex offenders. She said one change is the way the college will now cross check its enrollment against county sex offender lists instead of waiting for the students to identify themselves. Other colleges have used this same approach for years, school officials said.

Centralia College has a close working relationship with the local sheriffs office, which notifies the college whenever a sex offender registers in Lewis County, said Michael Grubiak, vice president of student services. Notification on campus depends on the type of crime and the college’s notification policy hasn’t changed since state law on this issue was approved by the Legislature in 1998.

Shoreline Community College north of Seattle created a new policy a few years ago, which requires teacher notification, the posting of fliers and notification on the college Web site, said college spokeswoman Judy Yu. About one or two sex offenders are among the college’s 5,000 students at any time. Teachers can share whatever they want with their students. “We can’t stop them, but I don’t think it’s encouraged,” Yu said. Olympic College in Bremerton is another school reassessing its sex offender notification policy this year. The result, which is expected to be approved by the college board in August, is much more specific than the old pohcy but not more strict, said Rick MacLennan, vice president of student services.

MacLennan said a Level 3 sex offender — described as someone who poses a potential risk to the community and is a threat to reoffend if provided the opportunity — attended the college two summers ago. Although the instructor was notified and there was a campuswide notification, some people felt more should have been done to let students know they were taking classes with a Level 3 sex offender, he said, adding that the student didn’t cause any problems on campus.

One change in the new policy requires all students enrolled in classes with Level 3 sex offenders to be notified. MacLennan said the policy leaves some room for treating people as individuals, depending on the activity that got them arrested.

By: Blankinship, Donna Gordon. Community College Week, 7/31/2006

“When you travel, your companion is in your space all the time,” says Patti Britton, Ph.D., author of The Art of Sex Coaching. “This kind of proximity magnifies everything: the sore spots and the sweet spots, the good, the bad, and the ugly.”

U.S. couples go on 155 million romantic getaways every year. While some of these couples will end up necking in the lost-luggage office, others will find themselves at the precipice of an enchanting waterfall, arguing about who should carry the binoculars. Your journey should start With our step-by-step guide to travel for twosomes.

Step 1 Start smart
Don’t be too ambitious too soon. “Early in a relationship, a shorter trip is more prudent,” says Linda DeVillers, Ph.D., author of Love Skills: A Fun, Upbeat Guide to Sex-cessful Relationships. Long trips raise expectations, cost more, and represent a commitment. Unless you have a very good feel for her, put a 3-day cap on your maiden voyage.

Do: Spend a weekend in Vegas.

Don’t: Go on a 2-week elk hunt.

Your best bet: Pick a spot that’s no more than 4 hours away–half a day of livid silence on the way home is not fun. And opt for a place with plenty of activities to choose from. This way, if she’s not a golfer, she can hit the spa while you hit some balls.

Step 2 Discuss great expectations
No, not the Dickens classic (although it’s quite good). Talk about what you both want from the trip before you pack a bag. “This conversation doesn’t have to be some big emotional thing,” says Susan Moynihan, editor in-chief of Destination Weddings & Honeymoons magazine. “It can merely be a discussion of your dream vacation. She can say, ‘I want to lie on the beach all day, then go have cocktails.’ Then he can say, ‘That would drive me crazy. I want to go kiteboarding all day, then go have cocktails.’ Don’t make an issue out of it. It’s okay to have different interests. Other than cocktails, obviously, which are nonnegotiable.”

Do: Have a lighthearted, enjoyable chat about your vision of the ideal trip.

Don’t: Make it a tense summit meeting.

Your best bet: Meet someplace fun but quiet and keep the conversation casual. Concentrate on your expectations. Do you want to see the sights or spend the day on the beach? Must you spend every minute together, or can you split up for a few hours? How much time are you going to spend in the room (hint, hint)? What about shopping?

Oh, and one final do: Make sure you establish what the trip means. If you think you’re going skiing and she thinks you’re going to propose, things might turn ugly.

Step 3 Don’t follow the reader
Many relationships have a natural leader who winds up making most of the decisions. If you just thought, Yeah, that’s me, you’re the one. If you just thought, Yeah, that’s her, she’s the one. Take this into account when planning, so neither of you winds up being dragged along on the other’s dream vacation.

Do: Embrace democracy!

Don’t: Expect her to understand when you skip the butterfly gardens because you want to get a good spot at the swim-up bar.

Your best bet: Identify the leader in your relationship. As a man, there’s a strong possibility you are the leader. If this is the case, make absolutely sure your shy gal chooses her fair share of activities. Give her all the time she needs and encourage her to express her likes and dislikes. If she’s reluctant to do this or gives you the ol’ “Let’s just do what you want to do,” use your leadership abilities to coerce her into expressing herself. In other words, order her to give you orders!

Step 4 Don’t mess around with money
Joy Davidson, Ph.D., the author of Fearless Sex, once went to Venice with a companion on a meals-included package. When she suggested exploring Venice’s restaurants, “he couldn’t stand the idea of wasting that money. I knew we had different outlooks on money before, but this really highlighted it. We ended up having a huge fight and spending most of our time apart.”

Be frank about finances and split costs as equally as possible without allowing them to dominate the experience.

Do: Work out a system ahead of time.

Don’t: Insist on being “The Man” and paying for everything.

Your best bet: “The best way to deal with it is to divide the payment by days,” says Davidson. “For example, he pays for everything on Monday, she pays for everything on Tuesday, and so on. You’ll end up spending roughly the same amount, but you won’t have money overshadowing the good times every time you’re presented with a bill.”

Step 5 Go solo for an hour
You love your lover, but you also love it when she goes away for a while, right? “It’s important to create some alone time in a way that’s sensitive to your partner,” Britton says.

Do: Go for an hour’s jog on the beach.

Don’t: Blow the day playing blackjack.

Your best bet: Take the pressure off. Split up, then reconnect to compare notes. Individual enthusiasms can be arousing. Or relax together with a room-service meal. Not every moment has to be life-changing.

Step 6 Steam up the hotel room
Hotel sex is one of the not-so-secret pleasures of travel. “There’s a lack of responsibility in a hotel room,” says Britton. Be irresponsible.

Do: It.

Don’t: Not do it.

Your best bet: Pack something surprising in your suitcase–a toy, a DVD, or lingerie, DeVillers says: “It creates anticipation.”

GRAPH: On vacation, she’ll try (almost) anything

By: Connolly, Chris, Men’s Health, Jul/Aug2006

You: man. Me: woman in age of feminism. Me teach you: Be responsive to my desires. Stay attuned to my subtle cues. Also: Stop hitting me with big club.

OK, you big galoot, you passed the test. Most men, in fact, have demonstrated considerable growth in the Paying Attention to Our Needs Dept. over the past three decades. But in this new millennium, where many Sex and the City-watching women are, blissfully, sexually liberated, we’re noticing something: The blinders we put on you men are crimping our fun, too.

In other words, now that we women know you animals are safe to take into the park, we’d still like to be able to take you off-leash once in a while, if you know what I mean.

Most of my girlfriends feel the same way. Even as we want you to behave like an Amish candlemaker in polite company, once the lights are off, we secretly yearn for you to drag us into your cave, pound on your chest, and give us a little taste of primal passion. We want Caveman Sex.

So, what is Caveman Sex exactly? Well, it’s not polite or P.C. It’s not approved by the FDA or the FCC. It’s not endorsed by Mothers Against Drank Driving (and certainly not by your mother). It’s animal passion, the stuff our id desperately would have us do in a heartbeat before that old prude the superego puts the kibosh on it. We’re talking dirty, nasty, tongue-to-tongue, eyeball-to-eyeball, tongue-to-eyeball sex. There should be begging, urging, ordering, screaming, and — if you do it right — maybe even a little weeping. It rewrites your modern-day sexual right-from-wrong book and suggests you channel your inner Bluto: Pull some hair, spank some fat, and act in ways that would sully your family name.

“A few years ago, I was dating this woman,” recalls Luke, a 31-year-old actor in New York City, “and — right in mid-sex — she whispered in my ear, ‘You can smack me right here, you know.’ She took my hand and put it on her butt. I did as she said, and it was like a bolt of electricity went through us — it took all my Zen powers not to release right then.”

Caveman Sex goes against everything men have been taught since the dawn of feminism — perhaps that is why it is so liberating for both partners. “Though there were certainly good intentions, the pendulum of sexual political correctness did swing a bit too far,” notes sex therapist Sandor Gardos, founder of mypleasure.com. “And it took a lot of the spontaneity and fun out of sex. For a lot of women, it’s exciting for the man to take more control, be more assertive, and get back to his inner caveman.”

Of course, Caveman Sex should be performed only in a loving or friendly relationship — not in a surprise attack in a frat house or on a bar pool table with Teamsters Local 173. But as long as the woman is willing to go along, you should feel free to reverse the evolutionary process. Cave in to it.

“Maybe not on the first date,” says Gardos, “but when you’ve established trust, it’s OK to get a little primal.”

Before you free your Neanderthal, though, here are some tips on how best to introduce B.C. sex to P.C. sex.

• Don’t go ape all at once. Change too quickly, and she’ll just look at you and say, “All right, Hyde, what’s with the hands — and what’d you do with Jekyll?” Advises Gardos: “Incorporate what you can into your repertoire slowly. You don’t suddenly have to have Crazy Sex Night.”

• Pretend you’re experiencing sex for the very first time –in recorded history. “My best experiences have been when I just lost myself in exploring her,” says Ameen, a 24-year-old graphic designer from Berkeley, Calif. “Simple things like appreciating her skin more, maybe sniffing around her neck like a wild animal investigating a strange female, or licking body parts that usually aren’t paid much attention — upper chest, side of the torso, inner thigh — are always winners.”

• Don’t take sex for granted. Use whatever fantasies you need to up the encounter’s urgency. “Cavemen didn’t live past their 30s,” says Gardos. “If this was the last time you were going to do it before being devoured by a saber-toothed tiger, you’d do it all — wouldn’t you?”

• Give orders. Women will respond to a man who takes charge in the sack. “You don’t have to-grunt or be rude if that’s going to evoke a negative response,” says Gardos. “You can simply bark, ‘Scoot up’ or ‘Turn around.’”

• Liberate yourself from the awkwardness of the moment. “The biggest sex-killer is being too self-aware and judgmental during sex,” says Gardos. “Quit worrying about what your face looks like, your breath smells like, your muscles feel like. Just be in the here-and-now.” Jerry, 37, a lawyer in New York City, agrees: “If I’d been more comfortable with my deep sexuality, rather than self-conscious about whether I was doing it weird, I wouldn’t have felt the need to have so many unsatisfying conquests. If I had realized my Caveman was OK, I’d have had better sex, guaranteed.”

• Know when to put the club back into your closet. Too much of even a good thing like this can lose its novelty. “Women definitely don’t want to be treated badly,” say Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey of emandlo.com, authors of Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. “Unless, that is, they have more baggage than a Boeing jet and more issues than Reader’s Digest. There’s nothing wrong with creating the illusion of adversity to spice up an otherwise ‘nice’ relationship — but know that the bedroom is the only place ‘bad’ behavior will score you points.” In other words, a caveman can still be a nice guy, albeit one who knows how to bite and spank.

Work these tips into your bedroom rotation and you’ll soon be Capt. Caveman. The two of you will enjoy sex in a whole new way — it could be the best discovery since fire!

Source: Men’s Fitness

Family planning and health campaigners said yesterday that the plans, which would do away with a child’s right to confidential sexual health advice, would be disastrous because they would deter many from seeking much-needed help.

Jan Barlow, chief executive of Brook, the sexual health charity, said it could lead to “a massive increase” in unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.

“Abusive or coercive relationships would also be more likely to remain hidden if young people felt that there was no one they could trust to listen to them in confidence,” she said.

Department of Health guidance for those providing sexual and reproductive health advice makes clear that people under 16 have the same right to confidentiality as adults. The exception is children not considered mature enough to understand what they are doing or at risk of exploitation.

This principle of confidentiality is a key part of the Government’s teenage pregnancy strategy. Teenage conceptions have fallen by 10 per cent since it was put in place in 1998.

But the current guidance is due to be challenged in the courts next month by Sue Axon, a mother of five from Baguley, Manchester, who is concerned that it enables under-16s to have an abortion without parental consent.

The Department for Education and Skills is now consulting on whether new guidance should be issued requiring information on under-age sexual activity “always” to be referred to the police.

The proposals have been drawn up in response to Sir Michael Bichard’s inquiry into Ian Huntley, the Soham murderer. Sir Michael was particularly concerned that social workers had failed properly to investigate reports that Huntley, who was convicted of murdering Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells in 2003, had had a string of sexual encounters with under-age girls.

Police had looked into a number of these allegations, but taken no formal action.

Brook is concerned that removing confidentiality would deter children from seeking sexual health and contraception advice.

A recent survey of young people found that nearly three quarters (74 per cent) would be less likely to seek advice if they thought that information could be passed to the police or social workers.

The Association of Chief Police Officers backs the proposals, but the British Medical Association, the General Medical Council and the Royal College of Nursing said that they supported Brook’s campaign to defend the principle of confidentiality.

Michael Wilks, chairman of the BMA’s ethics committee, said: “Although confidentiality is not absolute, and can be breached where there is a risk of serious harm, mandatory reporting of non-abusive relationships threatens the trust that underpins the relationship between doctors and patients.”

A DfES spokesman said that nothing had yet been decided. “We are seeking views on what guidance would be helpful in sharing information about under-age sexual activity, to better safeguard young people from harm,” he said.

Signs of a split between the DfES and the Department for Health on the issue emerged. A DfH spokeswoman said that anxiety about confidentiality was a serious deterrent to many young people asking for contraceptive advice.”

UNDER-AGE SEXUAL ACTIVITY

* A quarter of girls first have intercourse before the age of 16.

* The number of 13 to 15-year-olds becoming pregnant rose by 2.5 per cent to 8,076 between 2002 and 2003.

* The number of abortions among under-14s rose by 6 per cent in 2004 to 157.

* New cases of the sexually transmitted infection chlamydia increased by 8 per cent in 2004 to reach 103,932. Ten per cent of 16 to 24-year-olds may be carriers.

* Overall cases of all types of STIs have doubled among teenagers in ten years, with new cases among those under 20 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland up from 669,291 in 1991 to 1,332,910 in 2001.

* Three quarters of parents with a child aged 10 to 17 agree that under-16s should have access to confidential contraception advice. Seven out of ten agree that under-16s should be given free contraception.

Sources: ONS, Health Protection Agency, BMRB

I am not a whore and although certain friends affectionately call me a gutterslut, I am really much too discriminating. It is just my worship, mostly oral, of the male appendage that drives me to distraction.

In my experience, the face of a man can whisper a hint of what their penis may look like. If a man’s face is unshaven, he is usually unshaven elsewhere. Not to my liking, but I can overlook that in some instances. I can handle a five o’clock shadow much better than a wooly mammoth, which I won’t handle at all. The old adage that the shoe size and/or height of a man can reveal the size of his penis can be true, but not always. I have known short to average men with thick and ample offerings, and yet tall, thin men with nothing to write home about at all.