st0ries.com

By Bess E Warely

Counseling

When Pastor Jeremiah approached his office Monday morning, his secretary stopped him at her desk.

She whispered, “Stephanie Hughes is in there waiting to pounce. What should I do?”

“Call my wife,” Jeremiah said grimly. “I need her now.”

Gwen nodded in agreement. “I tried to get her to wait out here, but she turned up her nose and pranced in.”

Taking a deep breath and affixing a pastoral smile to his face, Jeremiah turned and faced the lioness.

The petite redhead was posed on the edge of one of the leather chairs with her legs crossed. She wore an expensive animal print suit and a bucket of perfume. He looked quickly away. “Good morning,” he said carelessly.

He took his time laying out his briefcase, flipping on the computer, and getting out his appointment book.

She stared pensively up at him. She attempted a tragic demeanor, but it looked more like a pout.

“Stephanie, did we have an appointment this morning?” he asked, flipping through his empty day planner.

“No, Pastor, but you said you’d be available day and night whenever someone needed you. And I really need your help. It’s my marriage.”

He smiled at her in a vague way, refusing to get caught up in the dramatic undertone of her voice.

“If you’ll wait just a minute, my marriage expert will be arriving.” He could count on Danae.

She looked stunned. “Who is your marriage expert?”

“My wife, of course. She holds a degree in counseling. Surely you knew? I told the church that I always rely on her in such situations.”

Dismayed, Stephanie said, “This is a confidential situation! I can’t talk about it to anyone.” Standing up, she leaned on the desk toward him. He was glad the thick oak piece of furniture stood between them. She lowered her voice and whispered, “We’re having sexual difficulties, and I wanted to see what the Bible said.”

Looking fearlessly into her eyes, Jeremiah said, “Well, then Stephanie, I’m certain you want to talk to Danae. Biblical advice I can give, but I never discuss sexual matters with a woman unless her husband is present. Likewise, Danae never discusses a matter with a husband unless his wife is present. Surely you understand the inherent danger in such a situation? However, I can provide you with phone numbers for excellent Christian therapists who will help you with any aspect of your marriage.” He gazed sternly over his desk at her.

She blushed, shaken that her charms had not worked. Angry red spots appeared on her cheeks. Just then, a rustling in the outer office signaled Danae’s arrival. He exhaled with relief. Danae greeted Gwen and hustled in.

“You forgot your lunch, Jeremiah.” He smiled down at her, took the paper sack, and kissed her on the cheek.

“You take such good care of me.”

She smiled into his warm brown eyes a long minute, allowing Stephanie to absorb the effect. He touched her hands as he took the bag. Turning, she said, “Hello, Stephanie. How are you today?”

“I’m fine, just fine,” smiled the woman with forced good cheer. Her face looked brittle enough to crack. She didn’t know what to say now. Danae looked so very domestic in her jeans and sweater and chin-length hair. Her makeup was minimal and she wasn’t even wearing earrings.

“Pastor, maybe I’ll get those phone numbers from you later. Right now I’ve got to run and go to an appointment.”

She exited with as great a dignity as she could muster in her wounded state. They could hear her rev the engine of her car as she launched out of the parking lot.

Danae sat down. She turned the leaf on his desk-top calendar. “I’m going back over to the kids. Time to begin school!” Part of shoring up their family foundation had been attempting homeschooling. The experiment already had stretched from one year into five.

Jeremiah sniffed. “Mmmm, what did you bring me in the bag? I was expecting a salad. It’s warm. Smells great…oh, it’s cinnamon rolls!” 

“Yes, but you have to share with Gwen, and we’re starting our diet tomorrow. So enjoy it today!”

Jeremiah peered over at her. Quietly, she beamed a look glowing with love and trust. Coming to her around the desk, he commented, “You know, if I had been as smart about women ten years ago as I am now, I could’ve stayed out of trouble.”

“Well, buster, you’ve been warned. Stay out of trouble now, or the Lord with smite you with many terrible plagues.”

Jeremiah cupped her chin.

“He’ll smite me?”

“Yep. Smite. And that will be the end of cinnamon rolls and movie night and dates with me on the couch.”
“I would never gamble away dates with you.”
He kissed her on the forehead before she headed home.  She waved to Gwen, passing through the reception area. The parsonage was just across the parking lot. “Call me again if any big, bad scary women come a-knockin’ on your door,” Danae yelled over her shoulder, leaving Gwen with a giggle.